“Water is the strong stuff
It carries whales and ships
But water is the wrong stuff
Don’t let it get past your lips
It rots your books and wets your suits
Puts aches in all your bones
Dilute the stuff with whiskey
Aye, or leave it well alone”
-Robin Williamson
-------------------------------------------------------------
Some things you should know about me.
First, I am not a maiden in distress. You might have heard otherwise, but in that case, you would have heard wrong.
It’s not true. Never was.
Honest injun.
And hey, I can appreciate your whole chivalry thing. But that dragon you think you’re saving me from? My type exactly. I went after him. Just about had the whole thing wrapped up with a nice big latex bow – a vibrating bow at that, ribbed for my pleasure, the whole bit – when you came along with your white knight routine and ruined everything.
Lookee here: I can open doors all by my lonesome. See? I can achieve orgasm in a single bound, even when there’s not a man to be seen for fifty miles. I have even broken the bring-home-the-bacon-fry-it-up-in-a-pan barrier once or twice, although admittedly, that was mostly by pure accident.
You also may have heard that I’m sober. You may have heard that I am stone cold dry.
This is true. Has been for more than a year.
Honest injun. Cross my heart.
During my three hundred ninety days of sobriety, I have, um… Okay let’s see here – I have subjected myself to weekly court-ordered urinalysis … sat through excruciating blind dates with my senses fully intact … stared at the ceiling through hundreds of nights of insomnia … Hell, I even survived the election returns of November 2 – ALL without the aid of swig, smoke, snort, or shroom.
I have sat through hundreds – literally hundreds! – of hours of goddamn AA meetings, listening while middle-aged, intermittently dry drunks with the I.Q. of bacon bits have attempted to convince me that they would have risen to the top ranks of business, art, politics, or Casanova-dom if it hadn’t been for the bottle or the pipe or all those cans of sweet, sweet paint with their sweet, sweet fumes.
Three hundred ninety days.
Go ahead: Do the applause thing. Get it over with.
I don’t do these things for the applause, of course. You may have heard that about me, but it’s not true. Honest injun.
No, I don’t do it for the applause... I do it to keep my driver’s license, guns, bar card, freedom, et cetera et cetera…
Yeah. You’re probably not going to like where this is headed...
I don’t care.
After three hundred ninety days of court-ordered sobriety, I can say with a modicum of confidence that there’s nothing explicitly wrong with sobriety. It’s not evil.
In fact, in the same way that I don’t think we ought to deport or euthanize folks for wanting to get married, believing in God, or voluntarily traveling to Indiana, I think sobriety ought to be officially tolerated in our society, if not actively encouraged.
I’m just that open-minded. Live and let live, I say.
However:
+ WHEREAS, I have calmly and rationally considered the pros and cons of sobriety as a lifestyle for three hundred and ninety consecutive days;
+ WHEREAS, I have patiently waited for any of the mental, physical, or spiritual health benefits I was told would accrue with ongoing sobriety;
+ WHEREAS, none – not a single goddamn one! – of the aforementioned promised benefits materialized;
+ WHEREAS, I only started listening to the music of Nick Cave in February and have thus never heard The Firstborn is Dead whilst high; and
+ Whereas, the poor Fractal Elves of Hyperspace have had no head to call home for over a year;
It is hereby RESOLVED that MS. ADRI ANNA OOPSY – upon successfully completing her final court-ordered piss test on Thursday, the eleventh day of November in the year of our Lord two thousand ten – shall take a new VOW.
A Great VOW, even.
A VOW which shall rival even the Great Celibacy Vow of 2006, the Great Cleansing of 2007, the Great Silence Vow Competition of 2008, and the Great Emotional Rollercoaster of 2009.
Friends! Neighbors! Countrymen! Slightly creepy stalker dudes from the interwebs!
Here’s something you really ought to know about me: Tomorrow, I begin the Great 60-Day Inebriation Vow of 2010-11.
It shall be glorious.
Honest injun…
*gasp* .... hah!
ReplyDeleteKin ah joins ya?
ReplyDeleteHA HAA haa GF. U never do anything small nor irrelevant. Congratulations ? One of a kind an happy to know ya all these yrs. Take care. xxoo
ReplyDeletelol
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Kind !! Hey Dude !!
ReplyDeleteMight has to make a road trip. :) I finally got to know the right people. ;)
ReplyDeleteAlso, fer quarks sake don't drive! okay?
ReplyDeletewhat? only 60 days!
ReplyDeleteI might add, I've gone six years sober at one point..... concurrently.
ReplyDeleteNow, well, if society wants to see me as an alcoholic, well, I accept that.
The onus of responsibility then becomes mine to minimize the affects of my own actions on society at large.
Howdy all
ReplyDeleteI fasted for ten days a few weeks ago ,
I was amazed at how strong my habits were ,
Tobacco and coffee ,I could not stop using ,
I got to do it again.Such is life
Be careful/ all kiddin aside. Easiest way to get tag number two is letting loose after the first one.
ReplyDeleteTake my hat off to u for staying sober all this time. When I did mine ages ago I barely escaped the pee tests. Alcohol is easier to get away with than other drugs. Good job. LOL are u getting wasted among friends ?
All or nothing huh? Good luck with that, but just a bit of advice? Leave the Ketamine and H to the middle-aged, intermittently dry drunks with the I.Q. of bacon bits.
ReplyDeleteWow I must be getting old I'm not even sure what DMT or DXM actually are.
one thing i've always admired about you is your ability to commit to whatever you set your mind to. i'm sure this will be a glorious adventure in inebriation.
ReplyDeleteWow...
ReplyDeleteA blog so scandalous that it brings Lloyd out of hiding!
Aren't you supposed to be taking it easy and livin' healthy for a few more months?
ReplyDeleteThe important part is for me not to, you know, post this somewhere public where just anyone can witness my terrible judgment.
ReplyDeleteAh well...
I just need to keep repeating to myself:
ReplyDeleteNo fights, no kidnappings, no fights, no kidnappings...
Oh, and no driving.
ReplyDeleteNo fights, no kidnappings, no driving...
Damn. This is getting complicated already...
I would do 90 days, but I have to be finished before Phil Collins' birthday at the end of January.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to risk inadvertently giving anyone the impression I'm celebrating "Sussudio."
If I can't have a glass of wine before bed, then alcohol is controlling me way more than an occasional drink ever would.
ReplyDeleteOh sure, but what's the fun in doing what you're SUPPOSED to do?
ReplyDeleteJust say it like a mantra. Let it flow.
ReplyDeleteI quit smoking cigarettes a few years back.
ReplyDeleteI still have a cigar from time to time.
The Native Americans used to consume massive quantities of tobacco - so much that they would vomit.
Apparently, it has hallucinogenic properties if EATEN in large enough amounts.
I haven't tried, but... Hey, it's good to have goals!
nothing speaks as loudly as your commitment, dedication, and ability to pull it off as the previous *great* feats of years past. i look forward to the addition of a new volume of interesting tidbits . . if you can remember them. if not, then use your imagination. :))
ReplyDeletejust be safe.
yeah, right. :P
Kind of like the F-Troop?The F Troop TV show was a 30 minute situation comedy series on ABC about a Private who is given a field promotion to Captain and given command of Fort Courage. The problem is that he got his promotion and command because he accidentally "saved the day" when he led a cavalry charge in the wrong direction. That pretty much continues to be the theme of the show throughout the series run. Captain Parmenter keeps goofing up and comes out smelling like a rose.
ReplyDeleteHaha... Yes, well, I'm thinking I'll probably try and stay away from driving on meth or babysitting whilst on heroin.
ReplyDeleteThose babies generally bogart the good H anyway...
I'll probably stick with a glass of wine over dinner or something.
Be careful.
ReplyDeleteSome of us actually care what happens to you....
Haha...
ReplyDeleteSee? There are plenty of adventures yet to take!
DXM is basically just Robitussin.
DMT is a horse of a different color... sort of like jamming a mirror ball into your brain...
It's going to take commitment and discipline, but I know that I can do it!
ReplyDelete(Oddly enough, I have LOST 3 contacts over this blog tonight.
Which finally answer the question of how much people will put up with, I guess...)
Heh. I have some mescaline here..... Waiting for when I have a few days off, and can experience it. Since I don't have the same experience on other chemicals others have, I am expecting I will have an experience that should express to me the fundamental laws of the very universe we reside in.....
ReplyDeleteJust four more days........
Yeah, after the severe stomach cramps and barfing. haha
ReplyDeleteI suspect it's NOT complimentary - just a gut feeling here - and not politically correct to use the term "injun"...
ReplyDeleteBut those folks get to legally use peyote.
Therefore, I get to flub the pronunciation of their ethnicity.
It's a fair trade, believe me...
I made the mistake of picking the cigars back up. I'm still not smoking like I did before, but I shouldn't be smoking at all. Maybe I should try that eating it thing and see how THAT works. LMAO!
ReplyDeleteHonest injun?
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I enjoy your blogs or the comments on your blogs more.
ReplyDeleteBut you don't want to do anything to - in the words of the 70's Steve Hillage-led space rock band, Gong - "Blow Yr Trip Forever."
ReplyDeleteBesides, they give you heart cases the good stuff.
You're not going to deny a poor, old, decrepit man his Dilaudid are you?
ReplyDeleteCrap - and I am voluntarily driving to Indiana next week. If you are going to euthanize me, please do it before I have to endure the 2+ hour dive across Illinois (as Peter Egan very aptly summed up, Illinois, the land of standing water). It is also the land of speed traps and a very unenlightened 65 mph speed limit.
ReplyDeleteWorking the philosophy of go big or go home I understand. In the interest of keeping your bar card, may I advise to avoid such activities as riding your motorcycle or punching drunk bar patrons during your plunge into the dark side. I know it is less fun that way, but jail is a complete buzz kill
You people are just encouraging the bad behavior...
ReplyDeleteLike I said, I have already lost THREE damn contacts over this blog tonight!
THOSE should be the folks' whose advice I'm taking.
How is it that I can post a blog kidnapping a disc jockey, about ball sack purses, about NOT supporting the military, and one called "In Defense of Racism" and no one cares, but THIS one... Oh, it's a step too far!
I shall report on the goings-on.
Even though it's a HORRIBLE idea to do so.
You're a bad influence.
What's the book where someone is erroneously made a Major in the Army because his last namke is "Major"?
ReplyDeleteIs that "Catch-22"?
Seriosly? 3 contacts? I'd say you're well shut of them. Also I think no bar fights is just too hard. Those happen to me even when sober... I can't help it if people take exception to me asking them to model my line of glittery hot pants.... Men! They are so uptight sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me our heroine got in more trouble for the bar fight than the alleged kidnapping. The DJ DID deserve it, which seems to carry a lot more weight in Texas than anywhere else in the country.
ReplyDeleteif i hadn't already been to h-town this week (yeah, it's within the defined 7 day period), i would have to come see if that really held true. i'm thinking it would be more like one totally enabling experience. :))
ReplyDeleteshe did not shoot his sorry ass. which would have prolly been acceptable if she shouted "it's my house, dammit!" houston is good for that, at least. :))
ReplyDeleteSober is good.
ReplyDeleteNever puked on peyote......
ReplyDeleteKinda liked the stuff. Well, not going to go into WHY, but then, like I said.... I'm not normal.
I never have either... then again, I've never done peyote.
ReplyDeleteyeah catch-22 - chapter 9
ReplyDeleteHis father, on the other hand, is a liar who hides Major Major's real name until Major Major enrolls in kindergarten. His mother dies as a consequence, and Major becomes a shy, awkward, submissive boy. Major performs well in school but is viewed with suspicion as a Communist and homosexual. The FBI sends five men and a Scotch terrier to spy on him and then place him in the army, where he is promoted to Major.
http://www.gradesaver.com/catch22/study-guide/section2/
LOL - you got some weird friends ...
ReplyDeleteIn Wine there is wisdom
ReplyDeleteIn Beer there is freedom
In Water there is bacteria
I go to Indiana voluntarily twice monthly. Have been since February. She has red hair, too.
ReplyDeleteWhat Will said. I'm not very comfortable with this... but.. I'm just gettin' old. And I'm sure as fuck not leaving over it. You just keep talkin'.. it'll all seem like a good idea in the name of personal growth.
ReplyDelete"I don't drink water; fish fuck in it." ~ W.C. Fields
ReplyDeleteenjoy coke ! get fat and be happy ! lol
ReplyDeletePeople just need to get sober about getting wasted. It is a necessary component for living.... and there needs to be more tolerance for getting high, as oftentimes there are not many ways to obtain satisfaction from sanctioned methods of sober living. It can quickly get out of balance, however, so I think the best thing to do is to stick to the more innocuous drugs rather than substances that can lead to serious destruction. It takes a long overview, and some maturity, to know what works best for oneself. I am pleased that I have found a moderate balance for myself... so that I can lubricate my soul from the relentless reaming of life in general... as I hope that others can find a similar answer for themselves.
ReplyDeleteHaven't read all those replies... 'God', where to begin? I'm sat here with vodka, well aware that AA might be advisable, lest it becomes necessary. Working nights, it's 09:11 right now. Vodka that time of day isn't fucking normal behaviour. I prefer to be honest about that, blogland is kinda private anyway... I'm probably an alcoholic, just never fully acknowledged it.
ReplyDeleteWell done for the last 390, I didn't know it was court-ordered. Have yourself some fun... then I hope you choose to continue being sober, or better still moderating, simply because you can.
Good luck. You're a talented writer and you'll always have that medium to express yourself if shit hits the fan... and yes, you know I have a crush on you, so I'm aware that whatever I say is going to be biased. I'm probably not alone in that. Being familiar with addiction somewhat, though, I think you've a long way to go yet. You're far from stupid... enjoy the release. You'll stop when you want.
Yep. 'Major' Major Major Major. Bob Newhart played him in the movie:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imdb.com/character/ch0020274/
Congrats on the 390 days Adri...that is something to be proud of and not something to dismiss lightly. However, you are a big girl and I have in faith in you so I wish you all the best on the your impending inebriation...after all, sobriety is for quitters!
ReplyDeleteFar be it from me to keep your ass alive.
ReplyDeleteDon't delete your account before you kill over, though: I've lost enough contacts for one week.
I feel like when I was in junior high and had to remind myself to pay attention to my hemline, my neckline and my smile at the same time.
ReplyDeleteInebriation vows are hard!
I light up maybe 3 cigars a week.
ReplyDeleteUsually out on my roof while I'm thinking before bed.
Outisders aren't allowed to enter Houston twice in one week?
ReplyDeleteIt's one way to keep traffic down to a merely intolerable level, I suppose.
I'm beginning to get that impressoin, too.
ReplyDeleteAren't those two characteristics the same thing?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Muslim
And hell, throw in "illegal alien" and you'd have the Barack Obama story.
I don't know the history behind this story; however, I hope you will reconsider what you are about to do because it could cause more harm than good. Clearly, people care about you. I will be quiet now.
ReplyDeleteCool.
ReplyDeleteI was not aware there was a movie.
Someday, I'm going to write a screenplay for james Joyce's "Finnegan's Wake."
What a great day that will be.
I think I'll get David Schwimmer and Miley Cyrus to star in it.
It's all coming together...
Thank you, Will.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be fairly strict about not mixing cocaine and heroin.
That's the bad combination, right?
You're thinking of ayahuasca.
ReplyDeleteWait.: You might not have been thinking of that.
In fact, it's probably better if you weren't.
But stomach cramps and puking is what I connect connect with ayahuasca.
What would one be without the other?
ReplyDeleteIt's what makes this a Sanitarium.
I will not judge you for going to Indiana.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I'll encourage the OTHER perfect, enlightened people in the world not to judge you, either.
Actually, as of this morning it's up to FOUR contacts.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, fortunately for me, I've been sober for a year.
So most people have been able to see by now that I wasn't just treating them that way because I was drunk.
It's just the way I treat people...
I have come to accept sober people.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if they are born that way, or if it is a lifestyle choice, but they ought to be allowed to marry and vote and do all the things that normal people can do.
Gotta watch out for those redheads.
ReplyDeleteI've heard things.
Some of them are flat-out dangerous...
I'll probably be skipping the coke.
ReplyDeleteAs in -Cola or -caine.
One of them is bad for me.
The other one does nothing for me except make my gums numb...
Adri, I can write a friggin' novel and get five comments.
ReplyDeleteYou tell people you're going out for a drink, and get nearly a hundred.
I'm jealous.
(Yes - mixing drugs is a bad idea; generally. Please don't....)
I don't care what people do.
ReplyDeleteI will say that the poeple I know who are most judgmental about various substances all seem to have medicine cabinets full of a stunning array of happy pills.
Because if it's a prescription, then you're not a junkie, right?
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -Hunter S. Thompson
Yeah, I dunno.
ReplyDeleteI think alcohol and just about anything else can keep me )or anyone) from realizing the... IMPACT of life.
That time is passing and this is life and this is your shot, you know?
But I REALLY thought that before I was sober.
During the past year, nothing has really changed about how I live or how I perceive things.
It encourages me in a way, because now I know I haven't "lost time" like I had thought.
Do you change your profile pic HOURLY?
ReplyDeleteThe heroin/cocaine mix (didn't they used to call them "goofballs"?) is what took out most of the famous folks of the 70's and 80's.
ReplyDeleteAs for this bizarre deluge of comments: I have NO idea.
Gracias.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost enough to kake me go for an even 400.
Which would be a completely arbitrary line in the sand and prove nothing.
390 is good.
Thank you, Darbie.
ReplyDeleteI promise that I'm not going to go out and snort Drano or anything.
However, it's nice to see tht there is a voice of REASON in here!
what? Three people left because your going to have a drink?
ReplyDeleteHav ethey read some of your previous blogs???
yes - I agree that that would be seriously reassuring. *smiles* Really.. no sarcasm.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your drink or smoke. Welcome back to the real world. Anyone who would stop reading your blog because you want to reenter the world you lived in before, certainly have no tolerance toward others. It may be that they are afraid that if you are successfulness in returning to your normal live, it will endanger their own sobriety. I am curious though! Without revealing who said what, can you give us an example or two of what these people wrote when they turned in their resignations as residents of the Sanitarium? I'm sure all of them had some words of advice or damnation or both. Congratulations on your graduation.
ReplyDeleteI used to write disclaimers before some of my blogs - specifically, I can remember writing disclaimers before "Attic Jesus" and... "Coccksucker Blues," I think.
ReplyDeleteAnd every time, the reaction was always overwhelmingly positive - NEVER the backlash I expected.
Which, considering some of the subject matter, is weird...
Well, you know... people in my family have DIED in the last few years. Sometimes I had to wonder if it would have hit me differently if my head worked like everyone else's.
ReplyDeleteNow I know: It wouldn't.
We're not even 24 hours into the comments on this blog, so things could go a different direction at any moment.
ReplyDeleteThere was a person who I talk to on-blog and off who said he wanted "no part in what I was about to do."
Which is a little weird, because I really am NOT going to be drinking with him.
But I understand the sentiment.
It's like "Dancing with the Stars" - if you watch the show, it only encourages them to keep making more.
You're posting legibly and still online ! Good job so far :) NO drano ... lol. Big hugz !!
ReplyDeleteSo, to summarize, "Society", through our legal system, said that it believed that you had some issues. In order to continue to enjoy certain rights and privileges that had accrued to you in the past, society, though our legal system, deemed that you had to be sober for a year.
ReplyDeleteAfter achieving the goals that society set out for you, you've decided with your infinite wisdom, that maybe society really didn't know what was best for you and you're going back to your old ways.
Good for you. I don't agree with it, but good for you.
As the son of a doctor who had similar issues as you, I know that advanced degrees in law or medicine don't actually certify that those individuals can actually make good judgements with regards to themselves.
But who am I, right? All I know is that I don't have to take anything to help me get through the day or through my life. I'm may not be smart enough to be a doctor, laywer or anything else very impressive, but I learned that lesson a long time ago.
My last UI is at 3:30.
ReplyDeleteI'm still on the wagon.
Yes, but you are much more succinct than I am.
ReplyDeleteI assume you could effectively use Twitter, with its 144-character limit.
I don't know that it is POSSIBLE to practice law without getting drunk every night.
I don't think anyone has ever tried - at least not for very long.
There might be something wrong with a profession where that holds true - although it is probably true of dentistry, the priesthood, and CPA's as well.
"But who am I, right? All I know is that I don't have to take anything to help me get through the day or through my life. I'm may not be smart enough to be a doctor, laywer or anything else very impressive, but I learned that lesson a long time ago." quote from unforgiven
ReplyDeleteI can't get this computer to quote you automatically, maybe I'm drunk, so forgive me cutting and pasting the old fashion way.
You may indeed not need anything to help you get thru the day or life but I don't think that is pertinent at all. If Adri broke any laws, you realize you don't have to be guilty to be forced to plea, or to even be charged, she will have satisfied the justice system in any event by the time she picks up a drink (I'm guessing she'll wait). If Adri, after all those hundreds of AA meetings, doesn't think she needs to stay away from alcohol or anything else, and isn't a danger to herself or others, there is no reason for her to refrain from a glass or 10 of wine.
The age old argument that if she denies she has a problem with drugs or alcohol, she is in denial and therefore doesn't realize or acknowledge she has a problem, confirming in some peoples opinion that she indeed has a problem, is false.
It's equivalent to denying you have a sexual preference for children, and others concluding that your denial confirms you do indeed have a sexual preference for children.
I
This is good news girl! Now you might be looser & the boys will like you better.
ReplyDeleteDrink up! Mazel tov!
UI...Urinary intervention?
ReplyDeleteum. Yes. One might go one step beyond "believed" and actually mention that she put other members (innocent bystanders, not *knowing* participants) of society at direct and proven risk. (Well.. you know.. assuming blogs are marginally factual.) Adri gets great mileage in the "victimless crime" arena.. she did however stray over the line.
ReplyDeleteThere is a profundity hidden in this.
ReplyDeleteHidden so well that it almost can't be recognized.
If I make myself more attractive to the right kind of men, maybe I can rope me in one of them successful bidness dudes...
Drug tests. They are supposed to be called UA's.
ReplyDeleteEverybody down here seems to say "UI" which is actually something very different...
The drugs may change, but the people don't ... not really.
ReplyDeleteAdri, that's because the real world is FULL of real-life cocksuckers, now.
ReplyDeleteAnd they don't even do it well....
Tex: At least you don't have kids. My Father never stopped, even though he tried so many times.
ReplyDeleteStill loved him.
The things that make drugs seem like a viable life option don't change much.
ReplyDeleteDon't care.
ReplyDeleteDon't need to.
I'm the American Dream, baby: I make enough money and have enough connections that I can screw over more people than can screw me over.
And as of this afternoon, I've pretty much beaten the system every which way.
The hell with it.
Yeah, that's sort of one of the reasons I WON'T have kids.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not as generous with love.
I won't grant my parents the benefit of the doubt you apparently granted yours...
“If I’d written all the truth I knew for the past ten years, about 600 people—including me—would be rotting in prison cells from Rio to Seattle today. Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism.” (May 14, 1967 in The Great Shark Hunt)
ReplyDeleteI wished more people thought like you. Kids should not be an automatic thing
ReplyDeleteI have (and still) taken care of a bunch of kids. It's seems that a lot of parents just get bored with raising their children.
Kids are job one ...
I like Thompson.
ReplyDeleteBack in the 90's, I saw the Terry Gilliam movie of "Fear and Loathing" and I read the book.
I was sort of nonplussed by both.
But back then, I wanted writers and thinkers who had the ANSWERS.
Wise men who could let me see behind the Big Veil.
As soon as I stopped looking to writers as gurus and started looking to them as, you know, WRITERS, I started loving Thompson.
His stuff has great TEXTURE, which is as high a compliment as I can pay to a writer...
I have been thinking about this stuff for a week - back woods GoGo dancer that uses online profiling to become a Gold Digger
ReplyDeletewant to make it a dual blog thing?
You funny.
ReplyDeleteI like that about you.
I'd probably like that ass better.
You've got to be kidding me, and making a bad joke at that. No f*cking way. That's one vow you're NOT taking, UNDERSTAND?!
ReplyDeleteHave fun then but don't kill anyone while you are drinking. You known....Don't drink and drive etc etc.
ReplyDeleteAdri, may asked what happened to you that you were forced to stop enjoying your life?
ReplyDeleteIt's another great day for freedom ....
ReplyDeleteI did a blog a couple years ago attacking Kanye West's song "Gold Digger."
ReplyDeleteThis made me think of that.
One of thee days, this blog is going to earn me millions.
Multiply is experiencing intermittent technical issues, which we are working on fixing.
ReplyDeleteI'm can't quite make out your name: Does that say "John", or "Sean"?
ReplyDeleteI have trouble reading homophones when I'm drunk...
And I'll be damned if didn't foget to include a poll in this blog about whether I would or should have a drink...
How can anyone say I don't enjoy my life?
ReplyDeleteI mean, I have this fantastic blog to look forward to when I get done with my 13-hour workdays!
I gots more issues than Reader's Digest...
I have a little black man in my office reading old MLK speeches even as I type this.
ReplyDeleteIt's quite inspiring.
I'm sort of the Rosa Parks of brain damage.
yeah you are right, you bloody well right - it's Friday night
ReplyDeleteI like u just the way u are. Bot to stay sober for so long that's an accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteYou're cool in my book darling.
"freedom's just another name for something left to abuse" .... should have been a song lyric ....
ReplyDeleteI've said before that people always look at me like I just kicked their grandmother when I say I don't want kids.
ReplyDeleteBut if someone doesn't want kids, isn't it GOOD that they know that ahead of time and plan accordingly?
I take family law cases quite a bit - I see the fallout of what happens when people who should not have kids have kids anyway...
I can honestly say that I'm MORE likely to end up killing someone if I DON'T drink than if I do.
ReplyDeleteDon't go changin' to try and please me...
ReplyDeleteYou never let me down before.
And don't imagine
You're too familiar...
And I don't see you anymore...
I think I've quoted this before, but there's a line on the new CD by Of Montreal:
ReplyDelete"If I treated someone else the way I treat myself, I'd be in jail."
I don't believe in coincidence. The truth is that another Adriana needed some encouragement and love. The powers that BE (whatever, the Hell they are) connected you and me based on MY assumption that YOU were SHE. Having shared that, I'd like to share my impressions of this blog. I need more time. Whether that is a desire to come back or a wish to live longer, I haven't made up my mind. Must I choose? Of course, I must. Each of us has that freedom especially if we think about it, possibly thinking is the last freedom frontier. Not sure how you fit into my puzzled mind but I do love the look.
ReplyDeleteI stick to Homegrown Hemp. Just safer being ME.
ReplyDeleteOh, crap....
ReplyDelete(Don't let this gal drink any more - she's singin' Billy Joel....)
Adri, watch this one. She's crazy.....
ReplyDeleteWho in Hell died and left YOU spokesperson, judge and jury?
ReplyDeleteyou're so poetic
ReplyDeleteGod, spare me these damned nitwits and backbiters. They're worse than Maine's true bloodsuckahs! I am here to get to know a beautiful person who thinks a lot like me NOT to play word games with "but" holes who think so highly of themselves that they THINK they no anything about me at all. Some of us know that many of YOU are NOT the best judges but we allow you just the same.
ReplyDeleteHa I like this
ReplyDeleteThanks, Beverly.
ReplyDeleteThe blogs vary quite a bit. Sometimes it's a love fest around here, and then there are blogs like this one, where it turns into a bit of a mosh pit.
Things always turn out fine.
It's cool if done with the right attitude... or irony...
ReplyDeleteOr...
Damn.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Then who is the cool one I was thinking of?
Rick Springfield?
Daryl Hall?
Ha.
ReplyDeleteI bet.
I've been clean and street legal for quite a while.
It's a safer bet, too.
Or I might just be gettin' old.
Yup. I could probably win the heart of Christie Brinkley with words like those...
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of a hazing they put newbies through.
ReplyDeleteIf you survive, there's not much infighting.
We've only killed off a few people.
Look to your left... Look to your right...
In a week, one of you will be gone...
Just ran into that particular vehicle elsewhere and didn't appreciate the 'ass'umptions. I may be crazy, a real 'luna' tick. Lime to me is a color and a flavor NOT some disease I carry. I 'glo' with a strange kind of intensity (In tent city, is a camping trip with friends in the back woods up here) So maybe I don't see eye to I but that doesn't mean a thing in the overalls. Those are just your snowsuits or one piece outfits.
ReplyDeleteIt IS a Sanitarium.
ReplyDeleteI let folks dig their own holes around here...
No worries: You & your wordplay are safe.
ReplyDeleteWe did shoot someone for a dangling modifier last year, but he had it coming.
I've driven a couple folks off over the years.
But the crowd around me has not.
I don't think they have, anyway.
the nights that go by...
ReplyDeletewondering... have i passed out so long i can't just go to sleep?
i would sooo love an audio reply of u saying this! lol
ReplyDeletecan't wait for the report back
ReplyDelete...wondering if u are able to write on acid
i had such great ideas ..
but the next day it was always crazy chicken scratch..
wow...u keep a close eye on ur peeps...huh?
ReplyDeleteI basically Michael Jacksoned myself every night for years.
ReplyDeleteTook a concoction of pills and alcohol so potent that it probably should have stopped my heart. When I STOPPED, I couldn't sleep.
Not for days - for months, basically.
I kind of naturally only sleep about 4 hours a night.
Without sleep aids, it turned into about 2 hours, and in the afternoon.
It would be even better with a video of me opening a door to go with it.
ReplyDeleteI'll see if the illegal alien I pay to open doors for me will train me on how to open one so I can film that video soon.
I write stone cold sober.
ReplyDeleteEven when I was taking hallucinogens, I would generally just have to take my little trip and write a travelogue later on, when I was sober.
I don't know whether I've ever written a blog on anything more than a glass of wine or two puffs of a joint.
Ha.
ReplyDeleteOne guy made a big stink about this blog before he defriended me two days ago.
However, I just accepted two new invites, yet I'm still at 198.
That means two OTHER people disappeared today.
It could just be Multiply...
Adri, why were you forced to take test by the law?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of homophones, I get confused, is it "Adri" or "Otis"?
ReplyDeleteAhhh… I C, so you *are* only joking.
I just don't see you ever had a problem drinking other than when you'd get inebriated and do things you had little or no memory of? You didn't say a drink, you're saying inebriation, which just makes my skin crawl thinking of you going thru that again. Why make it into a daily problem now after all you been through? Bravo, congrats, and good work BTW. This "Vow" is definitely not even in a the same league in any way shape or form to be mentioned in the same breath and rival your previous vows. We needed to post a poll on this vow… cuz I'd vote disavow.
You'll feel like killing someone with or without a drink, that's just normal for everyone, so drinking doesn't help. Just go to the shooting range and fire off a few clips (and keep the gun out of arms reach on the way). That'll do it.
Just passing by to see how you are doing this evening.
ReplyDeleteyears ago - I needed to pee (drunk) in a hotel room - went through the wrong door and into the hall naked - the door was a self locking door - it was not a pretty site - sometimes I need a little help - LOL
ReplyDeleteYou mean you're NOT?
ReplyDeleteI thought everyone was required to... Oh, wait - are you Canadian?
Because everyone who isn't Canadian is required to get tested regularly... just to make sure nothing Canadian turns up in their blood.
So thanks a lot...
(Oh, and I had a couple incidents last year that also made it advisable for me to agree to such a scenario...)
Hmm... I can't say I'm familiar with the English dialect in which "Adri" would sound like "Otis."
ReplyDeleteI am also not familiar with the world in which my life would become a democracy - a "Choose Your Own Adventure" for voyeurs...
Doing well, Darbie - thanks for stopping in.
ReplyDeleteI'm still workin'... But I'm going home before midnight even if I'm not finished...
Ha. The Bush clip should hammer home the fact that just because you stop drinking, it doesn't mean your problems end or judgment improves...
ReplyDeleteWhat a jerk he must be...
ReplyDeleteThere are sort of levels of jerkitude at play on this page lately.
ReplyDeleteOn the "Jerk Alert" graph, I would describe that only as... Elevated (Yellow).
Nice page
ReplyDeleteDICKHEADS ARE Ko0L ?
ReplyDeletesorry; the video is too big - Adri would call me a DICKHEAD however, this video is way cool
ReplyDeleteDICKHEADS are Ko0L Rocking out with Ron and Fez
I like this page
ReplyDeleteI like your space
I think I'd love you
anyplace
But that's just me
Lord knows I'm ONE
Thank God for THAT
I'm having FUN!!!
TY for allowing ME to simply BE.
Between the dancing Day of the Dead skeleton and the flashing yellow alert sign, your whole comment seems much more of a dire emergency than it probably is.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Frank!
ReplyDeleteWe'll be here all week.
Except Tuesday.
No one is allowed in on Tuesdays.
We actually have a system to how we pick names to call people.
ReplyDeleteA bunch of balls, all with insults written on them - a machine picks one at random for us.
The bext choice would have actually been "twathead."
Not my choice of words - blame the machine.
I think this might be the first time that "fun" and "love" and "thank God" have ever been used on my page in the same comment.
ReplyDeleteSo far, you've managed to triple the good vibes in the room.
Creepy...
"It shall be glorious.
ReplyDeleteHonest injun…"
I was on the train reading this on my phone, which won't let me comment, but it gave me a chance to read through the comments.
ReplyDeleteA couple of things. If people deleted you over this, what twits.
I've also noticed a lot of judgmental types telling you what to do with your life. SO not my kind of people, I hate judgmental life-lecturer types!!! Usually those people have worse lives than I do and are just trying to drag me down with them!
I don't want kids either, for many of the reasons you said. And it makes me nuts when people lecture me on that too!
You always handle that kind of comment with grace, whereas I'd be throwing things at them. :)
I don't have any comment on the post itself, except that I'm happy you made it through that part with the court-ordered tests. And I hope you are ok. And I know you are a smart, capable person, and that you will take care. And I'm always happy to see you here. Even in the cobweb-ridden world of Multiply, you still generate so many comments -- it says something about what a gifted writer and great person you are. Hugs!!!
My sentiments, exactly.
ReplyDelete(And the writer is correct in this - you take a lot more crap from people than I ever would)
Wow, that IS an old clip.
ReplyDeleteHe's not even wearing an ugly Hawaiian shirt!
Thanks, Shop.
ReplyDeleteI think I say so much about my life in here that it becomes a cross between a voyeuristic thing and... a plea for advice.
I guess.
But I really DON'T want a vote on what I do.
I might just be an attention whore.
Hey, shutting fools off when I'm online is a helluva lot easier than shutting fools off when they're in my office.
ReplyDeleteI can be quick-tempered normally.
My blog is a pure Zen experience.
Or something...
“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. And not being fellated sucks as well, or not, as the case may be”
ReplyDelete~ Oscar Wilde on being an attention whore, and also not getting any
The Attention Whore (homo agnitio agnitius) is a carnivorous subspecies of human whose original habitat included Acapulco, Miami, Panama City, Dublin, and before its demise Houston. They have since been spread throughout the known universe with the help of the Borg, who use them to aid with their mad assimilation skillz by distracting all the assimilatees and feasting upon those less-suited to be assimilated. Attention whores are extremely deadly and can strike without a moment's notice.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Attention_Whore
Well when I blog, which isn't very often anymore, I do the same thing. And I don't want advice either. So I guess I'm one if that's the definition!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are ok. It's always great to see you! The one thing I do miss about Multiply is some of the amazing people.
your blogs make my day
ReplyDeleteyour words are so enlightening
you take readers to places they never been
the above is written like a Japanes Haiku poem. I thought I give it shot
You think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteYou think that poem was creepy, you oughta visit my apartment when the lady who OD'd decides to make her presence known. Fortunately, spooks don't spook me. I like that you choose not to have children. It can be a truly thankless experience and raising one's self takes enough energy. Not everyone is cut out for it. Knowing yourself that well is a plus I wish I'd had as a young woman. I don't think you're doing more than interacting with your audience and that's just good entertainment. Call it any creative 'other' that occurs to you. Its creative genius. Lewis Carroll (sp?) certainly wasn't writing on straight air.
ReplyDeleteMultiply issues are multiplying my posts. Sorry
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! Did your keyboard go nuts on you?
ReplyDeleteNo, I hit submit and nothing happened for a long time. When it finally did, OMG
ReplyDeleteTex: :)
ReplyDeleteThe perplexing thing - to me - is that I spend a good deal of my time figuring out how I can avoid people.
ReplyDeleteThen I have a couple things in my life - and writing blogs is one of them - where I can probably be called an Attention Whore.
A Reclusive Attention Whore.
Most people don't want advice - they want affirmation of what they are going to do anyway.
ReplyDeleteI don't.
I tend to go the opposite way from what people around me are telling me to do.
Why aren't people blogging on Multiply anymore?
If someone finds a place that combines Multiply's functions better, they should tell me.
But I have not.
Years back, I wrote some haiku for a Haiku Competition that Multiply user Harmaceutical was having.
ReplyDeleteI lost.
Badly.
Wasn't even in the finals...
I need to go over there someday and find those fine, fine haiku I composed.
I like the interaction with blogs.
ReplyDeleteThe DOWNSIDE is that you don't have very long to grab someone's attention, and if things start to lag, they will click away in an instant.
But the upside is that the feedback is really fast.
That's just Multiply trying to keep us on our toes.
ReplyDeleteIt's exciting never knowing what will happen when you click a button.
(I HOPE it's not just general incompetence on their part. That would be scary...)
There are Latvian virus senders at work amongst Multipliers. Possibly they are sending viruses that Multiply is attempting to remedy. I'm all but illiterate concerning the whys and wherefores.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, I'm just not blogging anywhere. I don't seem to have the motivation anymore, and I think the fact that it's so quiet here makes it less motivating. It kind of makes me sad to come here, as so many people I cared about are just gone.
ReplyDeleteAs for other sites, I honestly don't think any other site is as good as this one in terms of the functioning. Sadly it's a well kept secret!
I got that virus message too. Luckily I knew about it and deleted it without opening it. I think it's not a coincidence that Multiply started having problems at the same time. :( I wonder why they targeted Multiply?
ReplyDeleteSorry Adri, I drifted, this isn't related to your post!
Damn Latvians.
ReplyDeleteWe should have nuked them when we had the chance...