You just can’t keep anything a secret these days.
Understand that this is not easy for me. It pains me to admit it. But folks keep telling me that coming clean will do a body good, so I stand before you now a humbled woman, open and honest and willing to confess that LAST WEEK, I SNUCK OUTSIDE OF TEXAS.
Not just a little bit outside of Texas , but wa-a-ay outside of Texas . To Boston , Massachusetts , which is about as far away from Texas as it is possible to get, geographically and philosophically speaking.
You heard me right: I got onto an airplane and I flew. Through the air! I felt my superpowers draining away as I crossed the Texas border and flew into the infamous United States of America .
The airplane trip looked like this:
Well, no. That’s not entirely accurate. The places were not labeled, and I flew over the ocean for a little while before finally landing in Boston .
While I was over the ocean, I looked out of the window of the airplane, down at all that water and at the little boats and the ships floating. There was not very much going on down there.
Then some more time went by, and the pilot must have decided he would land the airplane, and that’s when I got out and I was in Boston ! I discovered I had misplaced an hour of time somewhere along the way.
But I got off of the airplane nonetheless, and then I was in Boston for about one week, and I even learned some things. And since I do not want for you to ever have to go through all the trouble of flying to Boston , Massachusetts , let me take a few moments to share with you what it was I learned.
So consider this my report back from behind enemy lines.
1. Texas humans and Massachusetts humans: Not all that different! I suspect – and understand I say this with absolutely no empirical evidence – that the two species might be close enough genetically to interbreed, although of course the resulting offspring would be infertile, like any other mule. More research is needed.
You see, I did a lot of reading online before my journey, and it was my understanding that the dividing line between “Liberals” and “Conservatives” defines humanity. Therefore, to discover that Massachusetts Liberals have families, possess the same basic bodily reflexes, order pizza in the same manner, and have roughly the same volume of blood in their veins as Texas Conservatives, well, it was deeply shocking to this humble and humbled reporter, to say the least.
2. Boston brains must think more vertically than Houston brains. While in Boston , I became aware of a geological phenomenon known as “hills”. If, for example, I am standing in front of a house and I look up, there’s a good chance I will see a whole other house above the first one, on a hill. Maybe three houses, each above the next. This is fortunate, in a way, because the poor Bostonians are just about out of space. But it makes a Houstonian’s head bend in funny ways to have to remember to look up in order to see more Boston things.
Rest assured, this reporter’s brain has flattened back out since returning safely to Houston .
3. Not all Bostonians look like these Bostonians:
I just thought you ought to know that.
4. Crowds of tourists can drain the magic out of anything. While in Massachusetts , I visited the holy shrine known as Walden Pond . I visited the place where the Declaration of Independence was first read. I visited a university called “Harvard” and the site of the so-called “Shot Heard Round the World.” Other people were there, too. Some were swimming in Walden Pond or eating pizza or taking photographs.
If there was ever any magic in these places, it was gone by the time I got there. Perhaps the cameras had sapped away all of the spirits. This reporter can say with some degree of certainty that the inside of her own head is an infinitely more magical and astonishing locale than any of these famous places you read about in books.
5. Whales are bipolar, just like your humble reporter. While I was in Boston , I got onto a boat with a lot of other tourists. The boat went way, way out into the ocean, out where whales spend their summers getting fat on plankton and little fish. Every once in a while, one or two of the whales poked parts of their large whale bodies up and out of the water. When they poked up their head or tail, the tourists would all gasp and shriek and snap photographs.
Mostly, the whales stayed under the water, though. They seemed to like it better down there. I do not know what they were doing under all that water. Staying away from the gasping and shrieking and snapping of photographs, I suppose.
After this went on for some time, your humble reporter diagnosed the whales with bipolar disorder, a condition that this reporter admits also having benefit of experiencing firsthand. Like the whales, I spend much of my time in the darkness below. There is a whole other deep world down there! Occasionally, however, the whales and I find we need to surface for air. When we do, there are generally a bunch of people standing around gasping and shrieking and snapping photographs.
The Boston whales taught me that I want to spend much, much more time beneath the surface. Although I might (grudgingly) share with you any curiosities I find whilst down in the darkness, the gasping and shrieking and snapping of photographs limit how much time I care to spend up here.
Do not take it personally.
I am safely back in Houston , Texas now. I am within my house and the doors are locked and Current 93 is playing upon my CD playing machine.
And I prepare for my next trip, this one deep under the surface of the waters, into the depths of my own head, where I am assured there are significantly fewer tourists this time of year.
I might be surfacing on occasion to report my findings.
No flash photography, please.
Boston is virtually another country compared to Texas. I lived there for two years, and while I loved the place, I hated the winters. I want to go back, however, and visit it now that the Big Dig is completed. Sigh...
ReplyDeletethat was brutal .... *reeling*
ReplyDeletehah!
no fucking doubt! and that's a very good thing indeed! even for a bipolar houstonite who has discovered the magic of hills. ;)
ReplyDeleteBOSTON... You visited Yankees? How could you?
ReplyDeleteAt least you made it back. Hopefully there was no struggle as you tried to return to our fair state. I imagine they wanted to keep you there... Fortunately for us, you have returned. The Sanitarium was getting close to empty on the meds... I think a few took more than allotted.
My sister lives in Boston. I go there a lot, and it's true, the tourists drain the life out of everything. Good seafood though, and I hope you didn't go back to Houston with one of those funny Bawston accents! :)
ReplyDeleteI admit I laughed at this piece. Really like the way you look at things, and report on that.
ReplyDeleteThat's a whale of a story. Did ya rent a cah and pahk by the wahtah?
ReplyDeleteAwesome stuff Adri. There is indeed life outside of Texas. Boston is a great town and Bostonians are a hoot to party with.
ReplyDeleteDid you have to alert the authorities before leaving Texas? Did the ankle bracelet hurt?
Some smart flight attendant once explained to me why the TV monitor up front showing a map of our journey would have the path of our flight curved upward. I had thought that they were deliberately making MY flight home longer, so to shorten the time I would spend back home, in the liberal northeast of course.
ReplyDeleteNot everything is a conspiracy, I guess. Speaking of which, so, what did you do up there in my homeland? Making us “secure”, I hope. LOL.
Welcome home.
ReplyDeleteNext time, you'll have to visit Portland. It's a lot like Boston. Only there's The Shins....
Oddly, you live in Houston, which is where I spent the majority of my life, yet we've never met.
ReplyDeleteThen you take an excursion to the Northeast - where I now am - and again, not even so much as a "hey, wanna grab a brew?"
What the hell kinda stunts do I have to perform to get you to go out barhopping with me?
...Rest assured, if you say something sexual, I will say yes. Gorgeous redheads are my fatal weakness. You're like some demented sort of after-market Kryptonite.
Well, they certainly have much better public transportation than Houston. And an aversion to streets that come together at right angles.
ReplyDeleteMy only regret is telling Professor Gates that i thought we could manage to get back into his house without waiting around for a key...
Hah! Good to see ya, Lloyd.
ReplyDeleteAwww... :-)
ReplyDeleteI usually don't GO ANYWAHERE when I take time off work. This time I did, and it's good to see something outside my little corner of the world. But I'm sticking around next time out. Locking myself up in my place and taking a little trip of my own...
It turns out that you're not supposed to tap on the glass, poke them with sticks, or feed them real Mexican food.
ReplyDeleteMy Texas accent is still intact.
ReplyDeleteI went to Legal Seafood while I was there. Had real clam chowder.
The food was good... just wasn't spicy enough for me...
Thanks, Lachlann.
ReplyDeleteThe blog before this one has about 520 comments now - a Sanitarium record. I had no idea how I was going to follow that up. I figured this one would appeal more to some of the longtime residents...
I took the subway almost everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI brought a bagful of letter R's, though, and handed them out, since they seemed to be running short.
Heya, Randy!
ReplyDeleteMostly, they were just suspicious at the border as to why a Texan would be going to Massachusetts. But my passport and papers were all in order, so what could they do?
So I got to see real live Americans.
We went over the Gulf for quite a while coming back yesterday. I have no idea how that would be the shortest route...
ReplyDeleteI actually had one bit of business to do up here. But most of the time was spent around town...
hope you kept some for the trip to japan. they have a disasterous shortage.
ReplyDelete..would you look at that.. a physical experience, with physiological and metaphorical side effects, that one might even consider life expanding. Nope, certainly not worth the effort, shut the door.. I'm going back under.
ReplyDeleteA couple of my favorite bands (Mount Eerie, Old Time Relijun) are from Anacortes, Washington.
ReplyDeleteAnd Tom Robbins is in Seattle.
And those are KIND of close to Oregon.
Oh, and Sanitarium resident paintedtorrent is in Oregon, too.
I'm penciling it in for a future adventure...
I've been trying to find someone in Pennsylvania to have sex with!
ReplyDeleteI have this collection... kind of like those 50 state quarter collections only different. All I need to complete it is Pennsylvania and Oregon.
Thanks for the story...I used to live near Beantown and went often. I like Texas and you can keep Seattle and Portland! Was that your first trip up there?
ReplyDeleteNow, if we can only figure out what Boston and Japan have in common, we might be able to get to the bottom of this R shortage...
ReplyDeleteI live what is essentially a 4 story townhouse. However, that's not the norm for Texas, or even Houston. In Boston, it wouldn't be unsual, far as I can tell, because they have nowhere to expand but UP.
ReplyDeleteSomeone told me a story about the Beantown thing. Said the Puritans had these marathon, two-day church services and they needed a food with enough calories to stay awake throughout the service. Beans did the trick - thus "Beantown."
ReplyDeleteI don't know whether that's true or not. Being a dumb Southerner, people might have been taking advnatage of my naiveté.
Never been to Massachusetts before. Been to New York, but this was new.
i'm sure all the "noxious singing" woulda done the trick. or really put a dent in the congregation.
ReplyDeleteNow that I'm in Virginia, I miss the old NY/Boston rivalry. It was fun hating on the Sox/Celtics/Bruins/Patriots when I was growing up.....LOL! I have been to all the big cities in the U.S. and Boston is one of the tops on my list.....
ReplyDeleteI KNEW I had seen you somewhere before!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back in one piece. I hate airplanes. I'd rather fly through the air on a catapult...
ReplyDeleteAnd somehow I find it comforting that Boston isn't full of a bunch of weird looking old men....
Maybe I should go there and vacation...
It's been a while since I've been inside a church. I've always kind of assumed that flatulence was part of the overall religious experience...
ReplyDeleteIt seemed small enough that I could get my head around it in a relatively short period of time. Can't say that about NYC or Chicago.
ReplyDeleteI actually know someone in Oregon who might be willing to square you away provided you're not entirely averse to the idea of doing girls... so I might manage to finish your collection in one fell swoop!
ReplyDelete...Well, hopefully lots more than ONE, but you get the drift.
I've NEVER heard the Little Mermaid reference before! (Aargh!)
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I'm exactly like the Little Mermaid. Except slightly less perky, with psychological issues and more bad habits... So "The Little Mermaid" on crack. And DMT. And also armed.
We can't see the perk.
ReplyDeleteOMG you have GOT to do Little Mermaid for Halloween if you haven't yet....
ReplyDeleteIt would be so hot! And you could really put a twist on it... you know? Like an "edge"?
I played up the accent a little, but it seemed to draw guys in.
ReplyDeleteMost seemed to want to know if I knew George W. Bush. I said sure, just like THEY know the Kennedys.
Which opened a whole other can of worms.
One guy got so obnoxious about it that I had to say, "Well, let's see. The Bushes are known for killing and the Kennedys for GETTING killed. Which team would YOU rather be on in a fight?"
That conversation turned out badly, by the way.
God knows I've done worse for room and board...
ReplyDeleteThere's always NEXT blog!
ReplyDeleteA nude blog???
ReplyDeleteI've done Jessica rabbit, never the Little Mermaid. Yet.
ReplyDeleteI bet that was an awesome costume... but you should give the little mermaid costume some serious thought...
ReplyDeleteOne day we will be too old to wear cool stuff...
I'll even bring the aforementioned beer.
ReplyDeleteThat would be awesomely hot. And perky, if it's chilly in the sanitarium.
ReplyDeleteAdri, as the little mermaid, only doped up and heavily armed, naked?
I hereby invoke Rule 34. [*Fair warning: there is nothing so NSFW, as Rule 34.*]
If you've done Jessica Rabbit, where is the PornTube video?
ReplyDeleteLinkage, dammit!
Or at least pictures.
I've seen the pictures.
ReplyDeleteI suspect that day is rapidly approaching.
ReplyDeleteFor me, I mean. I've got a few years on ya...
Legged too?
ReplyDeleteWhat did people ever do for porn BEFORE the internet?
ReplyDeleteA quick search on the site easily demonstrates that there's Little Mermaid porn. But a search for "Adri" turns up nothing but a rough sketch of Sonic the Hedgehog.
The "The Little Mermaid" reference seemed to fit with the whale part of the blog, especially considering the evolution photo you used.
ReplyDeleteBe careful or someone might throw a bucket of water on you and try to get your tail to re-appear.
THAT is HOT, Adri!
ReplyDeleteI am reserving "stonednakedmermaidwithguns.com" right now, and hiring a photographer, so that there can be mermaid-costumed, heavily armed, naked Adri for all the net to share.
ReplyDeleteThat's new...
ReplyDeleteThat should put her ahead of Sarah Palin in the next election if she runs Republican.
ReplyDelete*gulps*
ReplyDelete..ahhh.. those were the days, weren't they.. *evil grin*
ReplyDeleteSo, them ferigners in thuh U.S. of A. were pretty nice, eh? Iffin the liberuls thar wuz jest lik thuh conservuhtives here, what wuz thuh conservuhtives like thar?
ReplyDeleteWow! That is even more better than the Little Mermaid!!! Nice costume! You look great!
ReplyDeleteI love eating rabbit!!!
ReplyDeleteOMG! I got to take a shower now........ :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's been years since I saw a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Kind of makes me miss my wife's granddaughter.
ReplyDeleteThis one is the politically incorrect version with all the "racist" lines left in.
ReplyDeleteum, except for kennedys and women whose names start with "m".
ReplyDeletewhoa, buddy. she said boston, not new york.
ReplyDeletewell, at least they don't have a "thoreau's cabin" with a bunch of neon and a souvenir store and coffee shop. oh, wait, they do? so i would say that given that the bushes are actually a bunch of connecticut/maine/yale upper class snobs wannabe psuedo houstonian killers, they are actually much more karmically connected to the new england best and brightest good school mass murderers of the mcnamara types and if you want to talk distance physically, emotionally, philosophically and with much better food... you have to go san francisco. let me know when you are to arrive and i shall be your hostess. our whales are mellower and friendlier our dophins plentiful our interior landscapes accessible and our wines are world famous. and if you had some extra time you could go to god's own cabanna in yosemite and end it all at burningman.
ReplyDeleteThumbs up Red! *thinks mole is fake*
ReplyDeleteEspecially if she really does the photoshoot; that way they can't even claim she's Photoshopped.
ReplyDeleteI am currently in Hartford Connecticut. Today I finally learned how to spell Connecticut. I have been to Boston and the evil above all evils, NYC. I don't know anything about whales in these places. They do have odd things called subways and a really neat concept, mass transportation. I doubt it would ever work in Dallas.
ReplyDeleteI suspect your assumptions are correct about the interbreeding. For mechanical reasons, I am unable to test your theory, although it may be a great pick up line at a bar. "I am conducting research on the differences between people from New England and Texas...."
It wasn't actually an "evolution" photo. It's from an ad for a fitness spa, and it was horrendously sexist and offensive.
ReplyDeleteIt therefore made me laugh really hard.
Here's another ad from the same series:
Down, boy...
ReplyDeleteIf the law thing doesn't work out, man, I'm there.
ReplyDeleteI mean, you have pretty much found my niche market for me...
Conversations with a guy turning out badly?
ReplyDeleteYeah. I wish...
Well, the "stoned" part might limit me to the Libertarians or Greens.
ReplyDeleteOf course, everybody knows that the GOP has a HUGE mermaid interest group faction...
Hmmm. Typically, the Republicans up there are of the William Weld, pre-Presidential campaign Mitt Romney variety.
ReplyDeleteNortheastern Republicans try to out-Democrat the Democrats, and it gets a few of them elected. When the Democrats down here try to out-Republican the Republicans, it blows up in their faces...
Political parties are pretty useless as anything bnut a fundraising mechanism, though, so I'll pretend I didn't know any of this...
Thanks, Leah!
ReplyDeleteThere's a bunch of pictures taken that night, actually.
Someday, I'll find a relevant blog to post them all to...
Carnivore!
ReplyDeletewait til he tells you about the 'foot thing.'
ReplyDeleteBugs Bunny does blackface? Uses the term "Massa"?
ReplyDeleteOh, man.
I sort of think that Yosemite Sam could have wide political appeal these days. We tend to vote for folks who yell incoherently in a Southern accent.
Did she have long ears and eat carrots?
ReplyDeleteThe term "Yankees" covers everyone north of the Mason Dixon line. Plus Nebraska and Iowa ansd such.
ReplyDeleteThere wasn't a gift shop in it, but get this:
ReplyDeleteThere were TWO Thoreau's cabins: the real one, way at the back end of the lake, plus a replica near the entrance to the park, presumably for people too fat and/or lazy to make it all the way to the back end of the trail.
You are correct, sir.
ReplyDeleteWell, kind of, anyway. It's a stud/"Monroe" piercing. Always there, and always silver:
If there was to be no photoshopping involved, I sure wish the shoot would have taken place before I turned 30...
ReplyDeleteI liked riding the T.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about it tonight, in fact. The useless 2-mile rail system in Houston is the object of much derision and subject of much controversy. It might be less controversial if they shoved it underground.
Surely the water table is no higher here than in Boston...
that's just lovely!
ReplyDeleteI don't believe turning 30 has made you any less attractive. There is something very attractive about a woman in her 30s. Of course, you'd probably put someone like me in an early grave, but what a way to go! haha
ReplyDeleteNo, she was short and talked like Yosimite Sam. haha
ReplyDeleteEh. I'm okay with aging anyway. I'd like to think I have some stuff to fall back on when the looks go to hell...
ReplyDeleteI had an oppertunity to explore Columbus,Ohio. Just almost two weeks ago I went to a relatives wedding. Columbus is a 13hr drive from Vicksburg ms. Anyway it's the home of the Buckeyes. I got to see and experince a lot of cool places within the city. My aunt and uncle arranged us to stay in a Marriot. Now Southeast Ohio is conservative. But never mind that. I went to the Piano Bar the Bang in the Arena District of Columbus. Now they know how to party where most in Vicksburg would rather turn out the lights. The Bang is a dueling piano bar. My cousin,aunts we got the place rockin and rollin before the nights out. But Columbus,Dublin are all cool places to visit.
ReplyDeleteLegal Seafood is great!
ReplyDeleteIn Heartford last night we ordered a fried shrimp with jalpeno chip starter last night. The bartender warned us it was "spicy" I was pushing the shrimp out of the way looking for the chips since it was the only thing that had taste. This appaled and amazed the bartender. Clearly not up to Texas standards.
I managed not to laugh at the girl behind the desk at the hotel when she called Chili's "mexican food" All that did was make me crave a good Chili Rellenos.
A whole 2 miles through Houston?
ReplyDeleteDallas has a line that runs from the yuppie packed North Dallas burbs to downtown Dallas. There is one that runs between Dallas and Ft. Worth. Neither are useful unless you live/work with in walking distance of the tracks as there is little to no supporting bus systems.
Cool - I think I've been to Ohio before... my luggage seems to get sent to Cleveland a lot...
ReplyDeleteI like going to cities for no reason, with no schedule or agenda and just fading into the city. I've done that with New Orleans, Omaha, Denver, San Antonio, and it's always fun...
The actual food is always just an excuse for me to eat spices and condiments.
ReplyDeleteOurs goes from downtown to the Medical Center (that might be three miles, actually).
ReplyDeleteI liked the T in Boston a lot - more than NYC's subways, and I think it would benefit any big city to have something like that...
My apologies, I am just now reading through the comments. Apparently we are supposed to repost this picture with comments? Here you go!
ReplyDeleteSomething I found somewhere else, that I thought you'd enjoy, with your recent visit:
ReplyDeleteThe MASS equivalent of disturbing the peace is;
1. Spilling the Chardonay
2. Failing to properly extend one’s pinky
3. Voting Republican
4. Objecting to higher taxes
Whew! I really tought you had completely dropped the ball.
ReplyDeleteYou almost made the mistake of posting comments that had something to do with the blog!
We frown upon that, you know...
That's why I couldn't live there.
ReplyDeleteI tend to react against whatever the majority around me does.
the DC metro has been my fav. i've not done the T. DART? not even a thought. but i know austin has a plan. it is a useless effort, but the council wants to spend the money anyway. that's their job. ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't think you have to worry about that. Conversing with you is always stimulating. (Don't tell anyone, but there's much more to you than looking sexy.)
ReplyDeleteRight then, sorry. I will try to stay off topic best I can next time.
ReplyDeleteFor your next photoshoot, may I suggest a bond girl accessory, like a Walther PPK rather than blowing kisses with your right hand. A good alternative would be a MAC 10. A Colt 1911 .45 ACP or a S&W .44 magnum would throw the balance of the picture off.
Everything else is spot on.
Insert shit stirring, worm can re-opening comment about soldier worship here.
ReplyDeleteRedqueen Adri didn't have no where to run.
ReplyDeleteThe leather clad beastmen,armed with thier lances and swords, surround her at the her kingdom's ancient fountain near the lush jungle. Escape is impossiple and the beastmen entwine around her; large muscle hands sieze her arms and hold them back. She doesn't resist her abductors for if she did death would be quick. Adri squeals and squirms as her wrists are being bound behind her back. The beastman is superior in strength and she knows that they would sell her in an open or private marke to a human bidder. She had thought her fountain would be refuge from the choas that has engulfed her kingdom; she suspects that her trusted maiden Angela who is now Queen has something to do with this.
As one of the beastman checks her out,she spits him in the face. He's enthralled by her fighting spirit--
The leader now takes controls of the sensous Redqueen Adri..she lays on her stomach on his leopard horse steed as they leave her fountain; she tenses her muscles as she feels his strong hand squeeze her bare dierre. Her dragon tatoo which transverse her spine tells them she's a ruler. In the jungle marketplace a queen of her statue is priceless...she stares with her sky blue eyes at the beauty of the jungle as her captive cadre takes her into the unknown...
pardon my creative spurt...hope your friend Angela gets kick how used her
Portland can't spend money fast enough on light rail. We're aiming to be the Amsterdam of the Pacific Northwest.
ReplyDeleteDoes this include the legal prostitution and drugs?
ReplyDeleteBoston needs to push public transportation and keep people off their insane roads.
ReplyDeleteApparently, in the old days, people just built their houses anywhere and gradually paths sprang up between these randomly placed houses.
The paths were later paved and became roads.
So now, none of their roads are at right angles to each other, the roads are all over and don't make a lot of sense. It's certainly not on a block rectangular grid sort of thing.
If it was me, I'd level the whole town and start from scratch. You'd have to knock down a few historical landmarks, but... they were old anyway...
Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThings only get more interesting as I get older. Comfort leads to complacency, and THAT is never interesting. That's why so many of the great minds in history have been inside crappy bodies.
I'm willing to make that trade!
523 comments and counting, buddy!
ReplyDeleteI took my blog to the next level, as the kiddies say.
Amazing for an amphigory.
I'm going to put all your various pieces together some day to see what I get.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the use of being a liberal mecca if there's no prostitution and drugs?
ReplyDeleteSounds like Cali is about to legalize in order to bring in tax revenue...
Yep, we are about to get 30-some miles of new rail in Austin, yet we are only maybe one-tenth of the size and population of Houston? I guess having the state capital in your neighborhood does have its benefits. On top of it all, the new rail goes to the rich suburbs to the northwest, as if the Dell millionaires can’t afford to pay for gas and parking when they come into town to lobby for more tax-cuts and government grants.
ReplyDeleteI like the NYC subway much better in this regard. It looks like a craphole inside, but it was strictly built for the working class, since the rich were all, and still are, on Manhattan with 50,000 cabs going around the island 24x7. No kidding, I once asked a cabbie, and he said that he shared his cab with another driver, they did 12-hour shifts, and the car was totaled after only one year of use.
Now the DC subway is one scary place, their escalator-to-hell is a psychological trauma I don’t want to experience too many times in my lifetime. For some of you who may not know what I am talking about, the subway platform there were cut so deep in the hills, they had very long escalators going straight down with no lights at the end of tunnel. Still giving me the chills.
Adri you go for it. Once u do tell me what I have created? you're fun to write about cuz that's how much I love redheads. I really do.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind if i say AMEN to that!
ReplyDeleteYes, but isn't Austin "progressive?" Liberal Progressives but their money where their mouths are, regardless of practicalities. Take, um, the Current Health Care Blitz.
ReplyDeleteBy the way I rode the DC metro when I was in Washington back in the early 90s. I rode the train from Gathersburg,MD into DC. I like how along the east coast how some do thier stations. In Europe I rode the Eurostar to Paris and I rode the famous Paris metro. When I was in Spain I rode a train into Barcelona and points north and south. In Athens,Greece on the way to a cruise in the Greek Isles,I rode on a public bus. Real interesting.
ReplyDeletemoney over conservative values....wait isn't money a conservative value...
ReplyDeleteSo now she's a Red Sox fan???
ReplyDeleteThe counter-argument would be that liberal progressives put OTHER people's money where their mouth is.
ReplyDeleteThat only holds so true, though, because actually, blue states tend to be net LOSERS in the federal tax system. That means that for every dollar that most blue states pay in federal taxes, the state gets, say 40 cents back.
Red states tend to be net GAINERS - for every dollar someone pays in federal income taxes, the state tends to be infused with, say, $1.50 in federal services. Varies state to state, but it does make some of the governors' statements about secession pretty dumb. Not naming any names...
God, guns, and gold.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone should list every public train and subway they have ever been on in this comment section.
ReplyDeleteyes, a technicality, but I agree. It's always a Progressive Crap Shoot. It's kinda like trying to change the status quo.
ReplyDeletein a game of one up manship ... I rode the space shuttle to mars and back.
ReplyDeleteI was going to say Uranus but I didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression...
just one of the many reasons i left that city behind. it has lost much of its charm in the past 10yrs with the population and building boom. and now that there is darkness creeping over downtown due to the ominous buildings . . . then the traffic hell.
ReplyDeletei hope it was a suppository. our solar system could use a good colon blow.
ReplyDeleteYou peeked!!!
ReplyDeleteYou look so................................innocent and pure.
ReplyDelete..and so Texas and California are even more similar than we think. Wow. Or is Texas - Cattle, guns, and oil?
ReplyDeleteShhhh... California has cattle and oil, too.
ReplyDeleteCan I include the three years I rode the rails as a hobo?
ReplyDeleteAustin seems to me like a city that took all the cars in Houston and stuffed them into a city the size of Huntsville.
ReplyDeleteWhich is actually a good argument in favor of public transportation, in theory.
Except that as long as they don't let me install the death ray on my front bumper, no one is going to give up their cars...
Of course! Why wouldn't I?
ReplyDeleteAs a great man once said, "Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don't much look like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down..."
ReplyDeleteMy favorite train, by far is the Amtrack express running between NYC and Philly, only because it goes through Newark at 90 mph, way to fast to get mugged, or really even soiled, by NJ.
ReplyDeleteGee. How original. haha
ReplyDeleteand now we can add girls and ganja.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a fun trip - did ya have to bring a passport for that?
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back. We were running short of medication. Living in a small country we are easily forced out of our borders doing business or holidays. I even managed to visit Boston and I totally agree on your report. Possibly all foreigners have to do the same tour.
ReplyDeleteGuns, girls, gold and ganja... now THAT'S a weekend!
ReplyDeleteThe Texas governor has yet to actually follow through on his threats, so... it's still an open border, for the time being...
ReplyDeleteDang it all! We're going to have to build a border fence high enough that airplanes can't get over it!
ReplyDeleteCertainly there must be prettier and fresher places to want to take a trip through than Newark the "armpit of the East Coast"? :-)
ReplyDeleteLOL - here's a little tip :-): Don't buy plane tickets off of Hotwire. I've for years strongly suspected there might a hidden agenda to layover passengers at Newark! Yes - somewhere during your 23 hour plane trip from oh Washington DC to oh Miami International you may be forced to disembark (terrified and without an oxygen tank) for hours into the terminal just because *you* were just too cheap-ass to spend an extra $50 bucks (getting a little angry here... ) to get tickets in a more conventional fashion and where yes ALL the details of the trip were disclosed... :-)
oh. you. could. not. be. more. wrong.
ReplyDeleteit's boston! you say she's cavorting with yankees and someone is likely to take it very wrong. and if you think boston is all brie eating pussy cats, then you really don't live around irish enclaves. just saying. all respect.
ReplyDeleteI would ask if you made a pilgrimage to the "Orson Welles Theater", but a quick search shows that it has been gone for over 20 years. I spend many a cold night there one winter in the early 70's honing my movie watching skills. Watched "The Forbidden Planet" in color and on a big screen for the first time there along with dozens of still classics. It remains to this day the only movie house I ever saw weed being sold openly at the concession stand, but that was a different time and place...........
ReplyDeleteHey there! Been a while!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I didn't hit the more obscure places anyway - stuck largely to the touristy shit, I'm rather ashamed to say... I think I might like something called the Orson Welles Theater...
There's a couple bar/restaurants in Houston that - while not actually SELLING the weed - don't mind the open use of it on the premises.
"Orson Welled" ??? ........guess you might have been to one of the local places earlier this evening.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it has been tooooo long.
Yeah... My ability to hit the right keys deteriorates the later it gets.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why that is...
Let me smoke a little more of this and think about potential causes a little more...
I heard you give away weeds to your patients recently! Could be that the reason of my return?....I am not going to mention those provocative photos...Where is my dope?
ReplyDeletePerhaps if you ponder long enough you'll hit me up on IM ............ just like the old days.
ReplyDeleteI am not fully aware of your reasons for returning to the fold.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I WILL say that we're handing out DMT at the nurses station this week. Not everyone is going to enjoy that...
Does IM still exist?
ReplyDeleteDeep in the dank,wet jungle..
ReplyDeleteAdri has no idea how she slept. She's accepted the fact that she'll never regain her kingdom. As she stirs awake under the hand of the beastman she feels soaken wet. A jungle downpour must've happen while she slept. Her long redhair is soaken wet and it glows when the shafts of sunlight hit it; this part of jungle isn't hot but cool to her surprise. She's more surprised to see ruins around her. In deed ruins of what appears to be a modern arena with cushion seats,broken glass skyboxes,grass has long since overgrown the field. Above she gazes to see broken dome which has long since fallen in. She sees other humans being bartered and sold. The beastman leader she now notes is alone; it's as if she and him have ventured alone.
She knows this the marketplace,the one she's heard legends of.
Since Adri is a human of high statue she's taken to what appears to Roman like coutch. He sits her on it and removes her wrists bonds and slides the looser bonds on the arm of the coutch around her wrist. She feels the numbness fade from her wrists and life pump back in her legs. The beastman brags on her like she's something special. She gazes with deep courisity at the new world around her.. she doesn't keep her head bowed like the other humans do. Amdist the murmuring she hears the sounds of surf which is odd. But the surf tells her she must be the near the coast.
A Ghenghis Khan like buyer appears; Adri licks her lips at his mauch presences. He looks Barbaric but her mind knows there is something different about the dude. Khan buys her from the beastman in diamonds and gold. Adri joins her new master...
She doesn't question him at all. She sits behind him on his horse. She feels her dragon tatoo warm up as if it's trying to tell her something...
I'd rather just kiss a frog. Maybe it will turn into a beautiful princess, marry me, cheat on me, then take me for everything I've got.
ReplyDelete...on second thought, just give me the drug.
I think you've made the right choice...
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say... live and learn.
ReplyDeletePerhaps I am really missing the boat on this one, but I did not read this as a happy travel log. The fact that it starts off that way might fool a reader who isn't reading very carefully, but somewhere 2/3 the way through, it changes.
ReplyDeleteAt Walden Pond, she praises the virtues of staying inside her own head, and by the time she is on the whale sighting trip, she's decided to hide away inside her own (apparent) self-centered depression (?)
Curiouser and curiouser, as they say!
traveling outside her head is a concept she is just learning existed. On the other hand, when you come to this page YOU are traveling in her head.
ReplyDeleteI survived the east coast. As far as I can tell Connecticut is the DMZ between NY Yankees fans and Boston fans. Without CT, there would be gun play. At the bar I ate at on Tuesday had both games going at the same time. It was very Swiss like.
ReplyDeleteThey SAY that, but how often does it happen?
ReplyDeleteOccasionally, I go back and read my old blogs. Not often, but it happens.
ReplyDeleteAnd when it does, I notice that the blogs rarely say what I thought they did. What I intended them to.
Rorschach ink blots, I tell ya!
As for what anyone ELSE gets out of reading this crap... I just can't say...
Texas has the Houston/Dallas dichotomy. Austin sits across the room looking down its nose at both cities.
ReplyDeleteI guess San Antonio would be Switzerland in that metaphor...
Being a traveler I can honestly tell you there are times when the two know it all retirees who run the amaturish talk radio show Live from the Klondyke,they have real issues with northeners. And this local talk radio show doesn't even get phone calls. What's the turnoff is they put down places like New York cuz of thier own bad experinces. Personally when I was in Washington DC I never had any negative experinces nor in Ohio for that matter. But when you have to two local lackeys running thier mouth trying to place up VIcksburg Ms as better than a metropolitian area,they've screwed up. Just last year they put down some places within Mississippi one of them was Natchez which made the Cande Naste Traveler's top 100 and Vicksburg makes the nonexistant lists. Another fact they put down the locals too.
ReplyDeleteYup. There is a fairly high % of jerks anywhere you go.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, there's a redheaded Southern jerk typing this very comment right now...
I am the voice inside my head.
ReplyDeleteI always just kind of assumed I was the voice in everyone else's, too...
Your assessment is accurate. Austin does have a very superior attitude toward us metro-ites, regardless if we are north or east. And who doesn't love going to San Antonio? River Walk (or the Alamo) has to the the epicenter of Texas neutrality.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that South and West Texas not to mention the panhandle are just, you know, OUT THERE.
Yeah - we refer to those areas as Southern Oklahoma and Northern Mexico.
ReplyDeleteYou should visit Maui. You can see whales breaching every few minutes during the height of the season without having to get on a damn boat. And it's amusing to listen to scores of tourists yelling "Show me some tail!" at the water. heh heh.
ReplyDeleteHaha...
ReplyDeleteThe tourists on the boat I was on just shrieked and applauded when the whales fluked.
Most of the tourists seemed to be from Russia and Italy.
There was a couple that was tlaking to me in broken English. The woman wore black slacks and a pink shirt, while the guy wore a black shirt and pink slacks. It was not a good look...
again?! this 1 started great & fun & i was having a blast w/ it & then boom! back 2 self-absorbed stuff again. i guess u r just deeper & darker w/ more real emotions than the rest of us troglodytes.
ReplyDeleteDMT??...You must be joking! I already have an elephant on my shoulder!.
ReplyDeleteI must teach him to fly....I guess
By the way after digesting your blog I should say flights makes us think deeper, Right?
Hmmm... You might have a point. However, after 3 years of writing blogs and about 26 years of writing in general, I have come to realize that I actually think about myself quite a bit and that, therefore, when I write what is in effect a FUCKING JOURNAL, it helps if it is from my perspective and about what matters to me and such.
ReplyDeleteIt's just a preference. I could write from YOUR perspective instead, I suppose.
I would once again like to offer my services to overturn the court order requiring you to come to this page.
Hell yes, DMT. Only recently discovered it. Sparkly!
ReplyDeleteThanks for digesting the blog. Folks apparently like my stuff better when they think that I'm writing about politics than when they think I'm writing about travel. Which is weird, because it's usually not even about what it appears to be. But that's okay.
What I learned from an airport delay.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago from my return flight from Barcelona,Spain. I encountered a flight delay via USA AIrways at Phildelphia International Airport. I had returned to catch a flight back to Charlotte to return to Jackson Ms. Anyway that flight never happened. A lot of us passengers were stranded at the airport due an incident. We didn't find out much later that the FAA radar systems hit a tech problem; so to pass the time I caruss the airport shops in the terminus. I talked to passengers from other flights to find out what happened. By early evening I got a compliment from salesman from Syracuse new york. He complimented me on how I handled this flight delay. I didn't let the delay for some reason or other get me upset. I stayed layed back about the whole thing. But I didn't blame some of my fellow travelers for being upset. Becouse I heard some real flight horror stories.
*smiles*
ReplyDeleteI've had some rewarding adventures during unexpected layovers. Of course, it kind of depends on what else I have going on, whether I'm impatient or not...
ReplyDeleteLayovers are great because you have no control over things. It's like when the electricity goes off...
Since you appear to be awake and commenting even at this hour, I will ask you something pertinent to the blog.
ReplyDeleteAre you on medication for the bipolar disorder?
Unexpected Layover. They'de make a fine band.
ReplyDeleteNo, not for a while now.
ReplyDeleteI read an article today saying that nearly 10% of Americans are on anti-depressants, which is shocking.
Shrinks are throwing those pills around like a right wing blogger with a handful of "socialism" labels.
It's exceedingly unlikely that I'll kill myself, so it's worth the ride...
They'll only end up splitting because of "creative differences."
ReplyDeleteIt's just too hard for me to get emotionally invested in their career development just to get burned again. It'd be exactly like Van Halen and Winger!
I am not an expert on Social Networks, blogging and the like. Common sense would dictate that blogs and social networking sites are biased towards the person writing the entry. Twitter (from what I can tell by disinterested observation) is the worst with moment by moment updates like
ReplyDeleteTaking a crap
Zipping pants
and so on. If you were writing from someone else's perspective, then it would be a short story. Actually I suspect your short stories would be outstanding. I can easily see you writing a James Thurber "Unicorn in the Rose Garden" type piece, only with zombies
It seems like a journal or social networking thing OUGHT to be about the one writing, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt's a like a "Dear Diary" thing... it would be weird if it was about a topic I am not familiar with.
On the other hand, I'm writing a book right now from the perspective of George W. Bush, and it's better than when I write from my own perspective, so who knows?
Has anyone ever written a zombie tale from the perspective of the zombie?
ReplyDelete"Woke up. Hand appears to be rotting. Sudden, inexplicable craving for brains. Why are all these people running from me?"
Yes. http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/11216
ReplyDeleteThe lead singer or guitarist would end up going AWOL.
ReplyDeleteJust as well. Those four sentences were pretty much all the ammo I had.
ReplyDeleteIt would be difficult to write a story with a zombie doing calculus.
ReplyDeletePolice are shooting at me, but it doesn't hurt.
If I can estimate the parabola of that water, I can get a pretty good idea of the volume by taking the integral and using the limits of ... Oh look Dairy Queen"
Not likely to win any literary awards there. I am interested in the book from the GWB's perspective.
I started writing MY Bush book about a month before Bush started writing his memoirs.
ReplyDeleteLast time I heard an update on his progress, he had double-lapped me. He's going to finish writing his before I'm even halfway through writing mine. This is a bit embarrassing, as I've written DOZENS of books before, and he's supposed to be, you know, mentally slow.
I'm just betting on the fact that when Bush and I both start our Adri books, I'm going to totally kick his ass...
It could be that his view of his world isn't as complex as your view of his world. He's been known to avoid complexity.
ReplyDeleteActually, there are times when writing from one's own perspective is harder than writing from someone else's. You tend to not want to make yourself look stupid.
ReplyDeletePlus, he's probably at least got to refer to FACTS, whereas I have Rumfeld smoking aspertame, talking in rhyme, and giddily blowing up whatever Bush lets him blow up...
Is there a Bushism approved spell checker?
ReplyDeleteHaha.. Yeah, I suspect it's probably called a ghostwriter.
ReplyDeleteMy money is totally on you.
ReplyDeleteTo Torrent's point, your world is a bit more complex and convoluted than his. And it is lots faster writing in Crayon than typing out long sentences with multi-syllable words.
As I understand it, the former President is also without a fulltime job at the moment. If I had those extra 10 hours in my day, I would probably write more than I do...
ReplyDeleteElliot's hardware in Dallas offered him a job, including a greeter's vest with the presidential seal. He didn't go for it. I imagine he is sitting there writing and collecting unemployment, or whatever he collects.
ReplyDeleteIn honor of a previous comment, I decided to write a blog all about me. I was going to dedicate it to you but that would take the spotlight off me. All of this is very confusing. Maybe toss in Toby Keith's "I wanna talk about me" video as the closer.
He HAS been living off the taxpayers since at least 1994...
ReplyDeleteDon't let squidma know you're writing about yourself. She'll accuse you of being a self-centered drama queen...
so wait... you enjoy them as a journal or you don't?
ReplyDeleteThey serve a purpose in retrospect, or they don't?
The fact thay they don't end up saying what you intended is amusing, or significant, or neither? *smiles*
They are simply Art from the bubbling cauldron of your mind and serve whatever purpose anybody wants to make of them, because they touch the soul of the human condition? (I kinda like this last hypothesis...)
The closer my blogs are to being a journal, the more I would obviously "agree" with them. I mean, a straight ahead diary would obviously be hard for me to disagree with, unless I discovered I had been overtly lying about events described.
ReplyDeleteShort story/fiction entries can be enjoyable whether or not they have a message I was trying to get across.
The opinion pieces sometimes are repeatedly trying to hit the same point from a different angle than I've hit it before.
But in the latter two categories, sometimes I realize that the way I said something is likely to interpreted differently than I intended it. Sometimes other times, it's accidentally more honest than I had intended to be...
... and the contract Adri has under negotiation with Multiply really doesn't have room for more than one self-centered drama queen per social networking site.
ReplyDelete